This is all you're getting.

As many of you already know, the big 20 week ultrasound is scheduled for Tuesday.  This the ultrasound at which many doctors can determine the sex of the baby.  Well, guess what.  We're not finding out. No way.  No how.  But, fear not.  I've been working on some at-home gender prediction tools (courtesy of pregnancy-info.net) and have the results for you.  So, here you go.

The way you are carrying during your pregnancy is one of the most oft cited ways of determining the sex of your baby. The general story goes that, if you're carrying low, you're having a boy. If you are carrying high, then you must be having a girl. Science says "NO, NO, NO!" to this: the way you carry is determined by muscle and uterine tone as well as the position of your baby. But who's to say that boys don't like being lower in their mom's stomach while girls prefer a view from the top?
After consulation with Mike, we are unsure as to whether I am carrying high or low.  I think maybe high.  But, I also consulted with Murphy (jump on my lap if high, don't if low) and he said high.  So, I guess it's a girl.  Either he was predicting the sex of the baby or just wanted more food. 

This next test to determine a baby's sex may not be for everyone, although it is very simple. Just take a sample of your urine and mix it with Drano. Depending on the color change of your urine, you will have a boy or a girl. Unfortunately, there is no consensus on what color equals which sex. So, if you do decided to try this and your urine turns bluish yellow, brownish, brown, black or blue you will be having a boy. If your urine looks more greenish brown, green, blue or doesn't change at all, then you're having a girl. But be warned: if you decide to do this test, there could be some pretty harsh fumes produced - not to mention the possibility of an explosion!
Yeah... decided the threat of toxic fumes and explosions was not worth it.  Was afraid I would have a mutant instead of a boy or girl.  Next test.

One belief that has been around for some time, and even had some acceptance in the medical community at one point, is that the fetal heartbeat differs for boys and girls. If you're having a girl, then the fetal heart rate will be above 140. A boy will have a heart rate below 140. However, that pesky science has reared its little head again to say that this is complete fiction. A baby's heart rate is not affected by its sex until it is born, when a girl's heart rate will increase considerably compared with boys during labor.
Well, if this one is right, then it's a girl.  The heart rate has always been above 150. 

Many people believe that your cravings are caused by the sex of your baby. So, if you can't get enough chocolate, you could be having a girl. Does the idea of drinking straight lemon juice sound delicious to you? Then those sour cravings are a result of the little boy inside of you. However, if you go by the scientists, then some of them will claim that you're not even having cravings because cravings just don't exist.
In the beginning, all I wanted to drink was lemonade.  Also, I eat a lot of Mexican food and eggs.  So, I'd say that points to boy.

Thankfully, this one doesn't refer to your weight gain. The belief is that, if your husband puts on weight during your pregnancy, then you will be having a girl. If he doesn't put on a pound, then you're carrying a boy.
Mike couldn't gain weight if he tried.  Stupid skinny piece of crap.

Some say that the shape and fullness of your face during pregnancy can indicate your baby's sex. Every woman gains weight differently during pregnancy, and every woman experiences different skin changes. If people tell you that because your face is round and rosy you are having a girl, they might be right - but it's just as likely that they are wrong!
I think it's getting rounder.  Girl. 

Hold a pendant over your hand. If the necklace swings back and forth, you're having a boy. If it is more of a circular motion, then it's a girl. This can also be done by suspending a ring on a string above your belly.
Back and forth... looks like a boy for this one.  I did this one before I knew what the results would mean, so there was no cheating.

Do you have acne? Some believe that getting acne during your pregnancy indicates you're carrying a girl. Maybe the acne is caused by twice the amount of female hormones?
Nope.  No zits here.

Pick up a key. If you've picked it up by the thinner end, you're having a girl. Picking it up by the bottom, rounder part means a boy is on the way. Did you pick it up by the middle? Then congratulations! You're having twins!
Who in the H comes up with this foolishness?  Why wouldn't you pick up a key by the round end?  That's the part you hold on to when you use it.  Dumb.

Ask yourself what you think you're having. In a study that asked women with no previous knowledge about their baby's sex, the moms-to-be correctly guessed the sex of their baby 71% of the time.
I thought for a while that it was a girl.  Then, the other night, I had a dream that I had the baby and for the first time ever the baby in my dream was a boy.  I kept apologizing to him, telling him I was sorry that I thought he was a she.  Except for the swimming in/giving birth in multi-colored paint, the dream felt very real.  So, I have no idea.  I just hope it's a baby.

There's also the Chinese Gender Chart (http://happymom.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/chinesebirthcalendar.jpg), which I thought had predicted a girl.  Ooops.   I just looked at it again tonight and it says a boy.

They also say that children under the age of 5 are 85% accurate in predicting the baby's gender, and Little Chicken Dinner says it's a girl. 

So... who knows?  Lots of foolish little tests say boy.  Some other foolish little tests say girl.  No worries, everyone.  Only 20 more weeks until we find out for sure.