I cannot describe to you how nervous I was yesterday morning. My almost-twelve-week appointment was scheduled for 9:30, and I was absolutely terrified. This whole time I have been saying that I feel that things are different this time, that I just feel that everything is okay... but feeling and and actually knowing are two completely different things.
The wait seemed like forever. Mike kept putting his hand on my leg or on my arm, whichever was shaking more at the time. I'm not one to sit still on a normal day, but my fidgeting was admittedly out of control.
Finally, we went back and started all the "normal" stuff, the exam, the questions about how I was feeling, blah blah blah. I had no patience for any of it.
Then, finally, it was time for the cold junk on my tummy and the Doppler.
And... there it was. Almost immediately after the doctor put the wand to my stomach, we were able to hear the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. "Woosh woosh woosh woosh woosh." I have never, NEVER been so happy in all of my life than in that moment. Right then for that little bit of time, I finally knew that everything was okay. Her heart rate was 170 beats per minute and very strong, the doctor said.
It was absolutley amazing.
On our way back to work, it was all Mike and I could talk about. That little woosh woosh and what it meant. She's really in there still. She's really growing. She's really doing all right.
At work, I was beaming. I told every single person I could find what we had just heard and how unbelievably happy I was. It was such a wonderful feeling to see how excited so many other people were to hear about our good news. I couldn't stop crying for the rest of the afternoon, and really, still can't.
I am so very blessed. I am so lucky to have this little miracle growing inside of me, to have a wonderful husband to share this with and to have friends and family who are (almost) excited as we are.
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